Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation – Audre Lorde
I started a new job this week and I’ve run myself ragged. I’ve come home with an achy body from all of the extra walking, stair climbing and standing. Compounded by the effects of overstimulation from being in a new environment, around new people, and getting tons of new information and not quite knowing how to string it all together in my head for it to make sense. On top of all of that, longer hours working and commuting and still having kids to pick up and care for and plan for. I’m tired, y’all.
I sometimes feel like I’m being pulled in a million directions, and though I love and need to work, love this website and other projects I’m working on, I still need time to decompress. This weekend, I had to back out of a few things that I really wanted to do so that I could find time to collect myself. I’m really no good to myself or to anyone else if I don’t take care of myself.
I talk a lot about keeping your cup full. Let’s say this figurative cup is energy. We pour into our friends, our work, our families, and by the end of the day, week, etc., we peek in there and see nothing left for us. But if we had set out some boundaries, said “no” sometimes or a little more, we might have something left in the bottom of our cups for ourselves, to regenerate energy for ourselves.
There is pushback from people we care for, sometimes friends and family who mean well, other times from energy vampires (a friend who only takes and never gives, a partner with abusive behaviors, rabid trolls on the internet who demand intellectual labor from you) who require you to create, strengthen and utilize boundaries. People will ask why you sleep in on your day off, why you can’t meet with them, why you can’t give them a ride to xyz. Its okay to say no. It’s okay to not work through lunch. It’s okay to wrap up meetings and leave parties to get home in time for a good night’s sleep.
It is okay for you to care for yourself. It is not an indulgence. It is self-preservation. Focus on keeping yourself hydrated, rested, fed, and stepping away from situations and people who feel unsafe or who drain you.
You are worthy.
You are worthy.